Episode 2 of 3 as a result of the top polling result we recently conducted within the Parallaxx Adventurepreneur; Thrill-seekers building lifestyle business community which was time or specifically the lack of.
See Challenge Of Time Pt. 1/3 here and the prequel on Responsibility here also.
Topics included in this blog:
- Crystal Clear Clarity
- Safe vs Risky problems
Crystal Clear Clarity
What does it mean to get crystal clear on what it is that you are trying to achieve? This can be in any aspect of life, whether it is business, relationship, fitness or, a lifestyle that is that you want to create – where you want to be, in any direction you are going.
Because without know where it that we are heading, we are just traveling blind. It’s like Rollo May says “It is an ironic habit of human beings, to run faster when they have lost their way”. But running faster, when you’re lost isn’t going to get you there any quicker!
Without a clear direction, how do we know where we are best allocating our time? Often this will result in fumbling around, jumping between things, and not getting the outcome that we feel that we want – either consciously, or unconsciously. Thus creating an illusion there isn’t enough time to do it all.
A great model which I use in the majority of the coaching session with my clients is The Critical Alignment Model which comes from Meta Dynamics™. There are 4 categories within the framework, the first being ENVIRONMENT. This section is all about purpose, the why, the highest intention, of the activities that we are doing. It can be applied to the macro of a business for example or applied the same to micro specifics like a sales process within the business.
Click here for an introduction to strategies.
Everything we do in life is a strategy. Whether it’s driving a car, brushing your teeth, or building a business, we run a strategy. And if we run the same strategy we will get the same outcome that strategy results in every time. And when it’s not the result we were seeking, we then go back and figure out which step needs to be adjusted.
The formula or framework for this is called T.O.T.E. (Trigger, Operation, Test, Exit). The reason that this is so powerful is that we can then use the power of modeling. Written within the very foundations of Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP), it demonstrates how successful strategies can be replicated (Enter your email address below for more information on this).
For example; find others that are achieving what it is that you want, or are living the life you would like, find out what they are doing, decode their strategy they are using, and model it for the same result.
So when this concept of strategies and modeling is viewed through the frame of time management, it means that we can use our time in the most efficient way possible. It provides us with a shortcut to what we want to achieve without having to ‘re-invent the wheel’. However, the most common strategy I see in so many of my coaching sessions is that humans are experts at running ‘avoidance strategies’ and are getting a perfect result every time…
Safe vs Risky problems
Disclaimer: This is a huge topic and in fact one of my favorites to explore. It is covered extensively in The Ultimate You, Quest Edition – By Sharon Pearson. You can get a copy here if you are not already a subscriber. Highly recommend it and the best personal development I have come across.
Generally speaking, almost any problem that comes to mind is a ‘safe problem’. It’s all the ‘out there’ or external problems. “I can’t do it because (of that thing)…”. Examples are; being too busy, not enough time, they won’t let me, too many other responsibilities etc.
The function of safe problems is that the brain creates stories to keep us safe from unresolved hurt, shame, or fears that are still very real inside of us. So when these deep feelings are too much to bear, to express, and experience, the brain has created a new story of why we cannot do something which we can consciously accept. These are the ‘safe problems’.
We can give much gratitude to this function in keeping us safe and serving us so well as children. Now as adults, we have choice. We have reason, and the ability to decide. So the question now becomes; ‘Can I handle it’? And when the reaction indicates not yet, we have found the risky question to ask ‘How can I learn to handle whatever happens’?
We call these ‘risky problems’ because it’s no longer keeping ourselves safe. We are going to have to turn up the courage and embracing uncertainty. It will take stepping into all sorts of scary wondering what is going to happen! This is where growth is found.
So the link between safe problems and time management becomes clear. It will often look like being too busy while procrastinating, or being overwhelmed when making a start on something that is said to be important.
What if there was no failure, only feedback?
What if no matter what happens, you know you can handle it?
Comment below – would love to hear which you resonate with!