Between the controversy & the resulting success that can occur from this conversation, it makes it one of my favourite topics and mini life hacks contained with Responsibility.
First off, I want to acknowledge the spiritual side and beliefs of magical thinking. This blog is not intended to discredit or detract from anyone’s inner world and philosophical approach to living. In fact, quite the opposite and the following should be framed in the space of thinking toward external world excuses.
It personally took me a little while to really lean into letting go of many of the following thought patterns. Given I was brought up by my mother Vicki Lawson – a master of magical thinking and manifestation. If it works for her then it why would I encourage her or anyone to stop it?
I looked really carefully and the difference was that her magical thinking was backed up by the most crucial element. It’s also the one thing missing from the highly popular book/movie ‘The Secret’ and ironically it is the most important point but least popular too.
ACTION – nothing happens until you do something.
I share an excerpt (skip to 3.20) from the book “Ultimate You – Quest Edition” – Sharon Pearson, which articulates and summarises how following a life driven by magical thinking guided by external events is giving up personal responsibility. And without personal responsibility, how can we ever take charge of our lives and create it in the way we want to experience it?
I have total confidence that at least some of the following will trigger, challenge, or draw disapproval from within you. If you are open to exploring a new perspective and step into something different, try to let go of right or wrong.
Read on and if you would like more, click below for a free PDF of this incredible book (normal rpp $59.99). Examples of a few of my favourite ‘magical thinking’ phrases, and reframes for personal empowerment:
It’s a Sign
Things don’t go exactly to plan or as easy as we thought? That’s not a sign, that life. If goals didn’t have challenges or obstacles to overcome, they wouldn’t be goals. The core of achievement is overcoming difficulties.
Instead, change the meaning that you place on the event. “Nothing has meaning apart from the meaning that we give it”. What we looked at it as a sign of growth and becoming even more of the person we want to be? And, instead of seeking confirmation, ask ‘does the outcome align with what I care about’?
One day my ship will come in…
The wishing, waiting, and hoping mentality for success doesn’t result in success unless matched with the appropriate action. Opportunities are often missed because they are disguised as a lot of effort, ambiguity, and the risk of vulnerability.
Instead, Swim out to the ship! Lean into the moment where you can learn. Make the decision right now to be okay with making mistakes. Unless we learn, we don’t grow. Without growth, there is no progress. And that is depriving our inner world of needs what is required in discovering our true selves. Without this, we are stuck in limbo waiting for our ship to come in and magically solve our problems.
My addiction helps me cope
Temporary external pleasures will never get rid of our pain. It won’t ever solve our feelings of loneliness or shame ever.
Instead, recognize that addiction is only to mask and protect yourself from hurt and achieve belonging. The only way forward is to build trust in yourself to handle rejection and whatever life will throw at you.
I will do it once I have my shit together
When someone says this, what is actually being said is ‘I won’t do it’. It’s because the only way we get our shit together is by actually doing the thing! By waiting for ‘perfect’, ‘feeling confident enough’, ‘having the courage’ it will mean that we never act. The truth is, no one has their shit together. Not one single person. But some people are getting on with it regardless.
Instead, courage only turns up when we do the thing that makes us nervous. Confidence is earned through action. There is no other way, it cannot be avoided. Waiting will only decrease self-esteem, give us more time to worry, and more ways to dream how we can fail. Get out to earn the courage and get your shit together.
Other forms of thinking to avoid taking responsibility can include:
- I have to figure out what’s ‘wrong’ with me before I can have a great life.
- I’m waiting for them to change
- I’ll do it ‘later’
- It’s ‘Karma’, I’m ‘Blessed’ or it’s God’s Will
- They’re a ‘Bad’ Person
- I’m ‘Too busy’
- I’m waiting for things to get easier
- I’m right, your wrong, I know
- It’s everything
- It’s all ruined
- It’s not that bad
- I suck
- Tell me more about how I compare
- I felt it, so it’s true
- I am waiting to be rescued
For more insights and further explanation on this topic and how it fits into the greater goal of enriching your personal inner world, I highly recommend the book ‘Ultimate You’ – Sharon Pearson.
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