If we knew we had total control over our reality, what beliefs would we require to ensure that this was possible?
For me, I choose to step into and practice a number of success principles and beliefs I have drawn upon from various resources and learning over the years. One of my favorites that requires forever practice is…
“My life and all the outcomes within it are 100% my responsibility”
Is this a fact? Can this be proven? Is it an absolute truth? No of course not. As with any belief, it is up for debate and personal perspective. But in times like these, I love the key phrase “what if I acted as if it were true…”?
What would that mean – it’s a pretty daunting thing, it’s pretty scary, right? It means that it’s all down to me! I acknowledge that this has the potential to be a touchy topic for some people, however. For those that may yet to feel empowered in life or haven’t experienced personal empowerment previously, this belief may elect victim-type responses. And that is understandable and totally expected for those who have been through what they have been through in life.
Feedback challenging this belief may include “so you’re telling me that I created, I made all those shitty things happen”? That “my reality is all my fault”? “I didn’t choose [insert traumatic experience here] to happen to me”! It draws out a rejection attitude that discredits the whole idea of taking intentional responsibility.
To clarify, the belief of being 100% responsible for our lives isn’t about placing blame, assuming faults, or accepting cause outside of our control. For example, we are not responsible for that plane crash, destructive earthquake, tsunami. But what we can be responsible for is our response to these events. The only things we have total control over in this existence are our thoughts and actions and decide what is going to happen next – these are totally our responsibility.
So the other side of the coin, what if it is all down to me? How empowering is that! It opens up an entirely new set of questions. What is now in my realm of possibility?
What can I choose differently? What will I decide to care about more? What will I stop tolerating? Ask different questions, get different outcomes. Create a more resourceful reality.
I used to hate the wind. I used to think it was the most unresourceful weather pattern that didn’t provide any value. The moment I took responsibility for the outcomes in my life caused by the wind was the moment I discovered a new passion. A passion that changed the trajectory of my life – Kiteboarding! Now I look forward to the wind for when it will next arrive.
So where is a good place to start?
I still often look back on situations that lead to an outcome that I would have preferred to have avoided or experienced differently. When I look objectively at my responses and am totally honest with myself, I know that I could have responded with forgiveness, kindness, generosity, or simply choosing to not let it bother me and letting it go sooner without the escalation. These are all potential, but not limited to, alternatives that would have driven a different outcome.
As I write this blog, I am waiting for some Balinese men to try to figure out to start my scooter since the battery went flat. I had already waited for ages for them to arrive and they come without tools, a spare battery, or any cables. It is hot, the flies won’t leave me alone, I am in a rush to catch up on work, and frustrated with the inefficiencies according to my expectations.
Focusing on all of that could have been my standard approach, probably escalating into further problems overall a pretty shitty outcome. However, instead, I took responsibility for how I wanted to feel and what would happen next. I walked back into the cafe where I had lunch, got a cold smoothie & opened my laptop. Although it wasn’t what I had planned to do, it was productive and so grateful they those guys are doing their best to help me while I continue with my day.
“We can choose to spend out time being right, or we can choose to spend our time being happy.”
It’s like what Tony Robbins says – “An elegantly articulated excuse becomes a high-level reason. But it’s still an excuse. And of course, what we feel we can justify we will live with, and that which we can’t, we will change”.
My interpretation of this is that the more we can explain away, justify or excuse, the less energy we will put into that challenge. We are emotionally numbing ourselves into a sense of comfort with it being okay and that in our minds the outcome can’t be different.
So, if instead, we dumped the story, what would there be instead? What is more important – the story, or the outcome that it is that you desire?
What story do you prefer – The story of why you can’t, or developing a new story of how you could?
If you love this message and it is resonating with you, I would love to invite you to go deeper into discovering your current levels of responsibility.
Enter you email address below, and I will send you an exclusive interview with Sharon Pearson and Matt Lavars sharing insights and learnings on this topic. It has been taking directly from the ‘Your Success 12 Step Program’ which I will share as a gift to you. As an added bonus, you will also receive the Personal Responsibility Quiz which will create even more awareness for the areas of your life in which you could choose to focus on.
I trust that you will love it!